


This Will, Too.

by BlackKyber



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, kylux - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, HIghschool Kylux, Kissing, Kylux - Freeform, Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Protective Kylo Ren, Romantic Fluff, Short One Shot, Star Wars - Freeform, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-10 03:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16462133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKyber/pseuds/BlackKyber
Summary: Ben Solo and Armitage Hux started dating each other a year ago, after having been best friends their entire lives. While they're happy with each other, their relationship contains several problems; the biggest of which being that, aside from their closest friends, Hux is reluctant to tell anybody else about the two of them being together. He's still coming to terms with his sexuality, and being comfortable in his own skin.  Luckily Ben is a patient, caring partner, and is more than willing to give Hux the time and the space to come to grips with what the two of them have. Yet a tragic event in Hux's family, and his coping methods to deal with it, may draw the two together a lot closer than either anticipated.





	This Will, Too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a trigger warning: this work focuses a lot on grief, on cancer and death. This is my own story, re-shaped to fit into Ben and Hux’s world, and a form of therapy for me.

“Hey,” Hux said, so quietly Ben could barely hear him. “Did I wake you?”

“What’s wrong?”

A long spell of silence, and then: “The hospital called us about 10 min ago. My ... uh ... mom has ...”

Ben closed his eyes, feeling a rush of pain for Hux. 

The past few months had been a nightmare for Ben Solo’s boyfriend, Armitage Hux. Two years ago, his mother had been diagnosed with brain cancer. The doctors had removed a sizable portion of a tumor, and, after a tense waiting period, had declared the cancer gone.

And then, right when anyone least expected it: it came back.

It came back so strongly and so aggressively that it tore Hux’s mother apart from the inside out. At 37, her vibrant red hair faded into an ashy gray, her skin became sallow, and she lost so much weight she was like a drawing of a stick-figure.

Still, she fought on. 

But when it became obvious that the end was near, she chose to stop treatments and receive hospice care within the hospital, her reasoning being that she didn’t want her family’s house to be tainted with memories of her sickness and pain.

Hux had always been a very quiet, shy boy. He had trouble expressing his feelings about things, and therefore had difficulty acknowledging his feelings about what was happening with his mother.

Ben was the rash one, the emotional one. He always had been. He and Hux had started tentatively dating at the beginning of their sophomore year, and both immediately fell in love with the way their differing personalities complimented each other. 

Ben tried hard to be there for Hux, physically and emotionally, during his mothers illness. He would even accompany Hux sometimes, when the redhead went to visit his mom after school. Hux’s father worked all the time, trying to keep ahead of mounting hospital bills, so Hux was otherwise left alone to deal with his life.

Ben thought of all this, now, as Hux spoke to him.

“Oh, baby ... Hux, I’m so, so sorry. Do you want me to come over?”

“No. That’s okay. Dad and I are going to the hospital to ... see her, before they take her down to the funeral home. So ... I just wanted to let you know, that I won’t need a ride to school in the morning.”

Something about the way Hux was talking, so calmly, with no emotion in his voice whatsoever, was truly worrying Ben. But he shrugged it off and said,

“Well, after school? Can I come see you, then?”

A voice, presumably Hux’s father, said something in the background. “Okay, dad,” Hux answered; then he said to Ben,

“After school. Okay. See you then. Goodnight.”

He hung up before Ben could say anything else, and Ben sat for the longest time, just staring down at his phone. Eventually he got up and made his way to his mothers room, to break the news to her. Leia had the reaction that Ben had expected from Hux: crying. Not surprising; Mrs. Hux had been one of her mothers best friends. 

“You can stay home today, if you want, Ben,” Leia told him, clutching a handful of soggy tissues.

But Ben didn’t want to. He knew the day would pass much quicker for him, if he had something to focus on while he waited to be able to go and see Hux.

When the time came, Ben all but sped over there, and it was all he could do to park the car and walk calmly up the sidewalk to the door. He found that his heart was pounding, as he knocked. He didn’t know what to expect, or how much of a wreck Hux might be. 

So, naturally, he was more than a little confused when the door opened on a Hux that looked ... scarily normal, considering the situation.

Right away, Ben threw his arms around him and held him tightly, squeezing.

“I’ve been so worried about you,” he told him, shakily. “Are you Okay? Are —“

Hux cut him off, startling him with a very aggressive kiss. He pulled Ben inside and all but slammed him against the wall, holding him still.

“You look so good today,” Hux murmured in-between kisses. “Dad’s out, let’s go to my room.”

Ben separated himself from Hux and searched his face warily. 

“Go to your room? I ... uh ... shouldn’t we ... talk?”

Hux shook his head, and, still kissing Ben’s neck, slid his hand down his body and into his pants. Ben gasped as Hux gripped him. While he couldn’t deny how much of a turn-on this was, he was also somewhat scared. Hux hardly ever wanted to have sex, and when he did, he was NEVER this aggressive about it.

“We can talk later,” Hux told him. He took Ben’s hand and all but yanked him down the hallway. “Right now, I just need this. Okay?”

Ben tried to open his mouth to protest again, but unfortunately, a different part of his body overrode his brain entirely.

*** *** ***

The next few days were a mad blur, to Ben.

Mrs. Hux’s funeral was in three days, on Saturday. Mr. Hux was busy, making funeral arrangements, calling up friends and relatives, and the like. Hux was allowed to stay home from school, and, while left to his own devices, had picked up some troubling habits.

For starters, his smoking increased tenfold. Hux had been a smoker since their freshman year, but this last week had seen his intake increase substantially. Ben would watch him smoke cigarette after cigarette, oftentimes lighting a fresh one off of the dying butt of his current one. His father was too preoccupied to notice, but Ben did, and it worried him. Yet any time he tried to gently suggest that Hux slow down, he was told that he was ‘overreacting’.

Ben had tried what felt like countless times, to get Hux to talk to him, about his mother. Yet anytime Ben so much as broached the subject, Hux would get up, he’d go into another room, or, worse, he’d answer Ben’s comments or questions with _Mm-hm’s_ , but nothing else.

Hux had always been a very light eater; Ben had known him his entire life, and couldn’t recall a single time when he had seen him finish a full meal, or even something as simple as an entire piece of pizza. His thinness was something that Hux didn’t like about himself, but Ben had always found endearing, and just a natural part of who the redhead was.

But these past few days, other than the cigarettes and the occasional sip from a water bottle, Ben hadn’t seen Hux put _anything_ into himself.

And then there was the sex.

Whenever they were alone together, Hux seemed to want to go at it constantly. It was nice at first, but after awhile, the appeal wore off for Ben. After thinking it over, he realized that this was because he could feel that Hux was taking no real joy in this act. Ben did a little research online, and found several studies that suggested that some people use the act of sex, and orgasm, in order to fill a numbness that the loss of a loved one could create.

After reading that, Ben felt more helpless than ever. He was Hux’s boyfriend, for God’s sake. He was supposed to take care of him, to be there for him. But how was he supposed to be there for him, if Hux wouldn’t LET him? Slipping into the bedroom all these times was not really doing anything to help Hux, or to get him to face the feelings he had buried deep inside.

On Friday, the day before the funeral, Ben had convinced Hux to come to his house, to do some of the homework that Hux had been missing while at home. They were sitting quietly, working on math, when Hux turned a page of the textbook too sharply, and accidentally gave himself a paper cut.

Yet instead of getting up to get a band aid, he sat there, holding his finger to his face and staring at it in awe.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? We all have blood. We all have bones. Everything in the body is going, constantly, all the time. But ... but when everything stops ... who decides that? Who decides when things stop, or start?”

Ben calmly got up and grabbed a tissue, holding Hux’s finger and pressing it against the cut.

“I don’t know, babe. Everyone believes different things, you know?”

“What do YOU believe?”

“I guess ... I guess I believe that everything happens, or doesn’t happen, for a reason. Shit happens, sometimes BAD shit happens, and we try to deal with it, you know? But like, the bad things pass. The good things pass too. Everything passes, and then new things come, good and bad, and it’s like a circle.”

He looked up at Hux, and felt a little hopeful. The expression on Hux’s face was open, and just slightly warm, in a way it hadn’t been warm in a while. Hux’s lips parted, and Ben’s heart picked up, thinking he was going to finally talk to him.

Then the look went away, like a cloud passing over the sun. Hux pulled his finger out of Ben’s hand, and said,

“I have to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Ben nodded, watching as Hux gathered his things. Right before he got to the door, Ben called out “Hux?”, making the latter turn back around to face him.

“Yes?”

Looking at that face, that blank, set expression, Ben couldn’t do it. He had wanted to say, I Love You. An important thing; neither of them had spoken that phrase to each other, yet. But Ben couldn’t do it right then, because if he said it, and Hux didn’t say it back, it would break him.

Instead, he just offered a strained smile, and said,

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Ben.”

*** *** ***

The viewing and reception was done at the house, as per Mrs. Hux’s final wishes. Her body was laid out in a casket in the living room, surrounded by dozens and dozens of flowers. The Hux’s small house was filled to overcrowding with friends and family, all taking turns viewing the body, walking around, socializing, and eating.

It was all quite informal; Mrs. Hux had never been one for pomp and circumstance. After that was over, two limousines had been hired to take Hux and his family to the cemetery, and everyone else would drive over in their cars.

Ben rode over with his mother and father, his father having come home to support his wife and his friend. Ben’s parents had separated at the beginning of the year, and Ben saw his dad so seldom that each time, it was like seeing a stranger. This drive was taking much longer than normal; a strong storm was pounding overhead, and the cars windshield wipers were doing their best to keep up with the onslaught.

“So what’s new, kid?”, his dad asked on the ride over, somewhat awkwardly. “Your mom texted me about that killer report card you got a few weeks ago; great job. You get that smartness from your mom, you know.”

Ben chuckled, but didn’t really respond. After several more failed attempts to make conversation with his son, Mr. Solo turned around and said, 

“So ... so how is Red holding up?”

Ben shrugged uncomfortably. “He’s okay. He’s ... he’s fine.”

“How are YOU holding up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, Mrs. Hux wasn’t your mother, obviously, but she was your friends mother. Your, er, your special friend.”

Ben looked up slowly at his dad, shocked. He had never told either parent that he was with Hux in a romantic sense, as he was afraid of what their reaction might be. When he didn’t say anything, Han continued,

“Took me a little longer than I’d like to admit, to figure it out. But ... but I don’t think I’m wrong, am I? When I was still living here, and he would be over all the time, I just ... I don’t know. Something about the way you looked at each other, reminded me so much of how me and Leia used to look at each other.”

“And you ... you’re okay, with it?”

“The only thing me and dad have ever wanted for you, Ben, is to be happy, and healthy. That’s it. Hux makes you happy, and that’s what matters.”, Leia said, glancing back at him in the rear view mirror.

Feeling dangerously close to tears, Ben leaned up and kissed first Leia, then Han’s, cheeks.

“I love you guys,” he said, smiling. “And you’re right, I DO love Hux. And he does make me happy. I only wish I could make HIM happy. Or at least, get him to talk to me.”

Ben explained how Hux wouldn’t talk to him about his mother, and how worried he was about him (tactfully censoring out the bits about their sex life).

“Everyone grieves differently, son,” Han told him with a sigh. “My old man went when I was 14. I think I cried about it maybe one time, just one single time, since it happened, and that was it.”

“And you remember how I was when grandpa died,” Leia mentioned softly. “I didn’t want to leave my bed for days. Hux will let out his feelings in his own way, on his own time. Just keep being there for him; he appreciates it more than you know.”

They had pulled up to the house, and Ben braced himself, to face the day ahead. 

*** *** ***

Finding Hux was a bit more difficult than expected. 

Ben wandered around the crowded house, stopping to talk to the people that he knew, eating from the tables that were just loaded down with food.

The one room that he had been avoiding was the room with the coffin in it. Ben wasn’t scared of a lot of things, but he had never been too cool with dead bodies. Yet of course, a peek into the room confirmed that Hux was in there, sitting in one of the rented black chairs in front of his mothers coffin.

Ben walked in slowly, and sat down beside Hux.

“Here you are. I was looking for you.”

“They got her lipstick wrong.”

“W-What?”

Hux stood up and gestured to his mothers body. “The lipstick. It’s too dark. Mom would never wear dark makeup like that; she loved bright colors.”

Ben took a deep breath and joined Hux, forcing himself to look inside. Thankfully, it wasn’t as scary as he’d thought. Whoever fixed her had done a good job; you couldn’t see any traces of the sickness that had eaten at her in the last two years of her life.

“Well — well, she looks really lovely, regardless.”

Hux nodded, then smiled and said,

“The dress she’s wearing; it was her favorite. Remember she wore it that time there was that freak snowstorm in September, like, three years ago?”

Ben remembered. It had truly been a bizarre event, with the sky piling on almost 10 inches of snow in a matter of a few hours. Hux’s mother had come to pick him up from Ben’s house, and Hux, thinking it would be funny, threw a snowball at her from behind a car. 

Then she threw one back.

Before they knew it, the entire neighborhood, kids and adults, were out waging icy war on each other. Mrs. Hux and Leia had teamed up, taking down their opponents with ease. They were laughing, red-cheeked and beautiful, looking every bit as young as their sons did.

That day stuck in both of their minds for a lot of reasons, but especially for Hux. He remembered that it was one of the final days before The Diagnosis, before everything changed.

Seemingly without meaning to, a small whimpering sound escaped Hux’s lips, causing Ben to turn toward him, concerned.

“You okay?”

Hux nodded, then took Ben’s sleeve and pulled him through the sea of people, to his room.

“Let’s do it,” he said, before smothering Ben’s lips with kisses.

“You want to have sex? Right now?,” Ben asked him, slowly. “Hux ... we’re going to be leaving for the cemetery really soon, and I don’t think ...”

Hux knelt down on the floor and began unzipping Ben’s fly. “You’re right; a blowjob, then? That shouldn’t take long; it never takes you long to —“

But Ben grabbed his hands and firmly pulled him to his feet. “No, Armitage. I don’t want to. And I don’t think you really want to, either.”

Hux’s icy stare burned right through Ben, as the latter zipped his pants back up.

“Must be nice to be able to read minds, and tell people what they do or don’t want.”

He turned to leave, but Ben grabbed his wrist, stopping him. As he did, he accidentally tweaked the string of the bracelet that Hux had been wearing, and beads scattered all over the floor.

“Fuck!” Hux exclaimed, dropping back to his knees and trying to gather the tiny objects. He looked so frantic that Ben could only stare at him a few moments in awe. Hux looked up and barked angrily,

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!”

“H-Hux, that thing had like a million tiny beads on it. Theres no way we’d —“

“Just HELP me, dammit!” Hux roared from underneath the bed.

Ben shakily got down on the floor on the opposite side, squinting to see the small pieces in the dimness of the room. Outside, the storm had picked up, and Ben could hear what sounded like hail slashing across the windows.

“Hux, come on, we have to get back out there,” Ben told him, trying to sound authoritative. “We can look some more after, and if we don’t find all of them, I’ll buy you a new bracelet, okay?”

Hux didn’t answer, and Ben thought he was just angry and ignoring him. He got off his knees and walked over to Hux’s side of the bed, intending to pull him to his feet. When he reached him, however, he was shocked:

Hux, was _crying_.

He was sitting on his bottom with his knees drawn up, his arms wrapped around them and slowly rocking back and forth.

“I can’t just buy another one!”, he wailed, as tears poured down his cheeks. “That was my mom’s. I took it from her jewelry box. I need it because ... because .... she’s dead! Oh god, my mommy is DEAD, Ben!”

He continued to sob, choking out muffled, confused words. After a moment, Ben sat down with him and cautiously put his arms around him, holding him. This entire scene was breaking his heart, but at the same time, he felt such a tremendous relief that he could hardly stand it. Hux, was FINALLY letting it out, and facing his feelings.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Ben said soothingly, stroking Hux’s hair. “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

Finally, after what seemed like a long time, Hux began to calm down. He let out several shuddery sighs, his face pressed against Ben’s neck. Ben spotted a box of Kleenex on the nightstand, and he reached over and grabbed a handful. Carefully, he wiped the tears from both of Hux’s eyes, and instructed him to blow his nose. When he looked presentable, Ben got him to his feet, and worked on smoothing the wrinkles out of their clothes.

“Later tonight, we’ll both look some more for the beads, okay? But right now, we have to go; it’s about the time they’ll be loading the limos.”

Hux nodded. 

“Okay. Will you sit by me on the way?”

“I ... I don’t think ... I mean, your dad wouldn’t ...”

But Hux took his hand and marched the both of them through the door. He found where Brendol was standing by the door, taking to Hux’s aunt. Hux waited patiently until his father turned towards him.

“Yes, Armitage?”

Still holding Ben’s hand, Hux said, “Ben is going to ride in the limo with us. Because he’s not just a friend, he’s my boyfriend. And I need his support and his closeness today more than I ever have before. Okay?”

Hux braced himself, fearing what his father would have to say about this. But instead of anger, Hux was surprised to find ... kindness. 

“Okay, son,” Brendol said, squeezing Hux’s shoulder. “We’re leaving now; our limo is the second one in line, after your mother’s. And both of you wipe your shoes before getting in; this storm has likely made the driveway all muddy and I don’t want to pay extra for cleaning.”

He turned and walked away, leaving both boys staring after him in disbelief. Then Ben said, with a smile,

“That’s the first time you’ve ever called me that.”

“Called you what?”

“Your boyfriend. It’s the first time you’ve ever said it out-loud.”

Hux smiled back, pulling Ben’s hand towards him and kissing his fingertips, before the two of them began walking outdoors.

Brendol had been right; the driveway WAS terribly muddy, and they walked an elaborate pathway to their limo to avoid the excess slop. But Ben was amazed; despite the mess on the ground, the storm had stopped. The clouds had disappeared from the edges of the world, and the sky was a welcoming, cheerful blue.

“It passed,” Hux said softly, as if reading Ben’s thoughts. 

Ben nodded. “It did. And this will, too. This day, I mean. It’ll pass.”

They had reached the limo door, and stood outside of it, for a few moments longer, staring up at the sky.

“Are you ready?”

Hux nodded, renewing his grip on Ben’s hand. “I’m ready. By the way ... in case I haven’t told you this yet today, or ... ever, I love you, Ben. I mean I _really_ love you.”

Ben leaned over and kissed him. “Good, because I _really_ love you, as well.”

The two shared one final kiss, and a hug, before climbing into the limo together, to ride towards the end of a day that would, indeed, pass.


End file.
